Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
