he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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