speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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