the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
