I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
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I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you never un-have a 4some
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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