I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
