i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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