Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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