It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
