I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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