Already got asked if we're dating
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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