btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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