Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
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i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
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Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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