i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
