chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
