i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
