Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
