Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
