But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
