She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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