Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize