I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize