I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize