Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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