Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
