whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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