I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
