So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
