Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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