you guys were way drunker than both of me
Someone shit on the floor
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
