it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
