was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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