Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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