I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
