Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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