How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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