you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
