i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
