my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize