She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
