you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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