is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
