I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just forgot I was standing up.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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