Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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