FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just high enough for therapy.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize