Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
