I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
