my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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