He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We talked him into tasing himself.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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