Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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