I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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