I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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