Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
