Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
