I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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