You're so nebulous sometimes
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
