please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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