I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
