So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
cat food counts as protein by the way
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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