Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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