Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
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I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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